Saturday: time for what

 Saturday- time for rest right! That makes perfect sense till you are a person that deals with chronic illness.  I got up this morning early and went to have 2 MRIs.  Well anyone who has chronic pain can tell you that laying still without moving on a hard table for what seems like hours is awful. 

It can be uncomfortable but it can also still have you hurting hours later.  So I have spent all day trying to figure out how to get comfortable. My neck hurts, my back hurts, ugh! I have had trouble finding a way to sit or lay. So then being uncomfortable makes you think about all the mental things that come alone with chronic illness. “Am I good enough?””why?”””what can I still do?”.  It starts your mind on a spiral  

This week has been a hard medical week which means that things don’t always make sense. I have been undergoing treatment for my impingement and for the nerve issues that I have.  Yes, I get on my own nerves ! But what no one talks about and why I’m starting this blog again is all of the emotions that come along with having a chronic illness, going through treatments and everything else    

Most of the time I start telling people and they instantly start- do this… have you done this… or that is like my …. 

All of things instantly negates what I’m going through   Instantly says I’m not doing enough or plan out I’m not good enough   In some relationships both parties can compare notes and it not feel this way but on average this isn’t true.  We need to be allowed To say that our feelings and emotions are valid   

Chronic pain and chronic illness are hard   They are tough and honestly no one truly wants to go through it  we need support, we need love, we need to be reminded that we matter    

Welcome to Moody 24/7

I was encouraged by a friend to start writing again... to write and let my words and experiences remind others that they are not alone and that they can make it through. I am simply a person that has gone through and is going through things that might seem isolating and that place me on an island. Truth is every now and then even in a crowd of people- you feel alone!

We don't know what to do, what to say, or even where to turn.

A little about me--- I am a wife, mom, and a teacher. I like to doodle- not a drawer though. I love to text and write people... it is one of the ways I feel like I can connect with people. The thing about writing is everyone says it is negative. well you cant write in the tone, people can read things wrong, etc. However, what I deeply feel in my heart is when you read things that touch your heart and when you read encouraging things it helps your heart heal. You can read it multiple times. You can read it when you need it.

This blog will be my writing... Simply me talking in written form. I may vent, I may educate, I may just write in a way that is informal. You know two friends talking over coffee, well, by a person who struggles to verbally talk.

I will write about:

Medical things- When you have a life of procedures, appointments and diagnoses you can feel like you are the only one in the world. What do you say? Are you honest, will people understand what you are saying when it comes to the medical things you are going through, and better yet will they stay.

Pain- the chronic and unrelenting pain. The feelings of being alone and feeling crazy. The always having to change plans or cancel plans, the deep emotions of failed treatments and the many opinions of people that are saying things without realizing the implications.

People are often well intending but the help, words and guidance it placed in the wrong way. People may thing that suggestions are great but sometimes the suggestions hit a mental cord that they didn't mean to hit.

Education- I am a teacher and I love, love, love my job! Some days it is amazing and you can see the amazing things... other days it is a fire in a trashcan that you can only contain.

Welcome to Moody 24/7